StillTasty: Your Ultimate Shelf Life Guide - Save Money, Eat Better, Help The Environment

StillTasty: Your Ultimate Shelf Life Guide - Save Money, Eat Better, Help The Environment

Awesome website to let you know how long our food remains good and tasty

Warning: Awesome procrastination tool :D

Baby Steps to Better Living (Part 2)

Making little changes among a lot of people is what causes changes. The book “Tipping Point” by Malcolm Gladwell talks about how there is always a tipping point to big changes that occur. Perhaps just a few influential people decide to do something differently from other people. If done properly at the right time it can start a cascading effect with that change becoming the norm. So, if we all try to start making positive changes in our lives, it is possible someone somewhere will be influenced by your decisions and from then on a cascading effect of positivism will begin.

This is the second part of my 2 part series on little things we can do towards living a better life for ourselves and others around us.

1.       Take slow controlled breaths a few times a day

2.       Buy items in bulk with less packaging

3.       Pick up the pennies you see on the ground and save them in a penny jar

4.       Insulate your home the best way you can

5.       Wash off makeup at the end of the day and brush your teeth before going to bed

6.       Do activities that increase your heart rate

7.       Be aware of your surrounding no matter where you are

8.       Volunteer at a local organization you identify with

9.       Ask questions about your health to your doctor and know what medications they give you and why

10.   Genuinely care about the people around you and don’t try to fake your feelings

11.   Turn off your car if you are going to be parked over 2 minutes

12.   Play with a puppy or a kitten, or get your own if you can handle them

13.   I have this in list one but here it is again: RECYCLE

14.   Avoid eating out any more than once a month

15.   Say thank you when someone does something nice for you, even if it is someone really close to you

16.   Make eye contact with your significant other as much as you can

17.   Take a class to learn something new, if you can afford it

18.   Avoid crowding the person ahead of you in a line up, you won’t get served faster if you are closer to them

19.   Think of what you put in your mouth BEFORE you put it in their...all food

20.   Make an effort to be a better person

http://islamgreatreligion.wordpress.com/2011/02/08/11-tips-for-muslim-couples-dealing-with-marital-disputes-in-the-west/

http://islamgreatreligion.wordpress.com/2011/02/08/11-tips-for-muslim-couples-dealing-with-marital-disputes-in-the-west/

11 tips for Muslim couples dealing with marital disputes in the West

Marriages usually start off so nicely. Everyone cooperates-the couple, their parents, other relatives, friends. Things usually run smoothly.

But somewhere along the way, marital disputes pop up. This is of course natural, but these can escalate to dangerous levels if not dealt with correctly.

1. Money

Couples argue over many things but money is by far one of the most frequent and serious. The solution is to discuss issues openly and consult within the family.

For instance, the issue of a wife working outside the home can become a contentious one. This should preferably be discussed before marriage. Also, if she does decide to work and the husband agrees, does she want to contribute a certain portion to household expenses or will she keep all of the money for herself (which is her right)?

One of the ways to avoid arguments about money is to simply make an easy budget which tracks expenses, income, investments, and establishes a framework for taking care of regular family necessities (see a sample budget for a family.

Also, learn how to make a budget and deal with debt. If you are a young student, keep in mind you have to pay off student loans. You should also know where to get interest-free loans and what assistance is available

2. In-laws

In-laws are the focus of blame and reproach when there are marital disputes. But there are ways to maintain a good relationship with them. Here are some tips:

a. Remember your spouse’s parents have known them longer and loved them longer. Never make an issue about “me or them”.

b. Let respective parties settle their own disputes. If your mother-in-law has a problem with her husband, let them deal with it. Don’t interfere

c. Don’t tell your spouse how to improve their relationship with their parents.

d. Expect some adjustment time for parents after marriage to adjust to this new relationship.

e. Remember that mothers are usually skeptical about daughter-in-laws and fathers about son-in-laws.

e. Always treat your in-laws with compassion, respect and mercy.

f. Maintain a balance between your needs and that of your in-laws.

g. Never compare your wife to your mother or your husband to your dad.

h. Do not go to your parents with your quarrels.

i. If you are supporting your parents financially inform your spouse as a matter of courtesy and clarity.

j. Do not forbid your spouse from seeing family unless you fear for their religion and safety.

k.Do not divulge secrets.

l. Make time to know your in-laws but stay out of their disputes.

m. Maintain the Adab (etiquettes) of Islam with your sister- and brother-in-laws (i.e.no hugging or kissing).

n. You are not obliged to spend every weekend with your in-laws.

o. Give grandparents easy and reasonable access to their grandchildren.

p. Be forgiving and keep your sense of humor.

q. Remember that nobody can interfere or influence your marriage unless you allow them to.

r. Invite in-laws at least once a month for a meal.

s. Visit them when you can and encourage your spouse to visit their parents and regularly check on them.

t. When parents become dependent on their children, a serious discussion with all parties present should take place. Expectations and requirements of such a living arrangement must be worked out.

3. Parenting

The tug of war that results from differing understandings of parenting are also a source of tension in marriage. One solution is to start learning about Islamic parenting before having children. If you already have kids, you can still learn.

4. Stress

Stress is an almost constant factor in most people’s lives in North America. Muslim couples are no exception. Stress from work, for example, is carried into the home.

Couples and families need to work out a coping mechanism in the family. For instance, couples can take a walk to talk about the day or go to the Masjid for at least one prayer. They can read Quran individually or together. The methods can vary, but as long as they are Halal and work, they can be used.

5. Domestic violence

This is an extremely sad reality and unless it is dealt with promptly by victims, perpetrators and/or those concerned about the two, then the family will break. Seeking help is necessary and if domestic violence is not stopped, the destructive effects will not only be harmful to the husband and wife, but to their children as well.

Family members, friends and Imams need to stop the abuse. They must intervene and work on getting help for the husband and the wife.

6. Spiritual incompatibility

This is a growing problem in North America, where Muslims from all around the world live and different understandings of Islam are present. There is a disturbing lack of tolerance amongst young Muslims, especially, who may get sucked into cult-like groups which preach a “we’re right and everyone else is wrong” mentality, whether the issue is where you put your hands in prayer or whether you decide to wear Western clothes or traditional Eastern ones.

This intolerance is being transferred to marriages, where a couple may differ on minor points of faith. Married couples must understand the difference between an Islamically acceptable difference of opinion and one that is not. They must develop a tolerance, balance and respect for their differences on that basis.

7. Sexual dysfunction

This is one of the least talked about problems, but it is one that is wreaking havoc in a number of marriages. Many couples who are marrying are not learning the Islamic perspective on sex and marriage. As a result, when they are not satisfied with their spouse, a number of them may turn to others or seek easy divorce, instead of a solution.

Couples have to understand that the marital relationship in this area, as in others, needs work and patience and cannot be the subject of whims and impatience. Knowledge, practice and if possible, the advice of a wise, compassionate scholar are two key elements in finding a solution to this problem.

8. Interfaith marriages

Islam forbids marriage between Muslim women and non-Muslim men. There are a number of Muslim women who have taken this step and regretted it later. Such an action, in most Muslim families, results in the woman being isolated from her family with no support. As a result, when marital disputes do arise, parental support, which is there for many Muslim couples, is not there for these women. These Muslim women may also experience guilt for disobeying Allah and hurting their parents.

In other cases, Muslim women ask non-Muslim men they want to marry to convert shortly before the marriage to appease their parents. Again this can lead to marital disputes. Two things usually happen. Either the man becomes a truly practicing Muslim and the couple is no longer compatible; or he’s bombarded with Muslims from the community wanting to invite him to Islam and he gets upset and may hate Islam.

In the case of Muslim men marrying Jewish and Christian women, the situation is different. While Islam does allow this, Muslim men marrying Jews and Christians need to remember that living in the West, if they end up divorcing, the children will almost automatically be given to the mother. Also, remember that the mother is the child’s most important school. If you want your kids to grow up as practicing Muslims, you are better off marrying a practicing Muslim woman, especially in the West, where the unIslamic cultural influences outside the home are strong enough. Inside the home, it will become even harder to maintain Islamic influences if a mother is not a practicing Muslim herself.

9. Intercultural marriages

While Islam does not forbid intercultural marriages, they can become a source of tension when Muslims, primarily the couple, but also their families, make their culture more important than Islam. If parental support is there for an intercultural marriage, things are smoother for the couple. If there is not, and if there is even hostile opposition on the part of one or both sets of parents, it could be better to not marry the person in the long run.

10. Lack of domestic skills

While girls are being encouraged to become scientists, engineers and doctors, for instance, there is little to no emphasis being placed on gaining domestic skills. It should be remembered that in Islam, while women are not forbidden from working within Islamic guidelines, and men are encouraged to help with housework, women’s primary duty is within the home as a home manager and mother. As a result of the lack of domestic skills, many married couples find themselves in messy homes, where meals lack proper nutrition and in general, there is frustration.

If a married couple is working, husbands need to pitch in more in the home and remember that their wife is a not a machine, but a human being who also needs rest after a hard day of work.

11. The modern Muslim woman meets the old-fashioned Muslim man

While young Muslim women of the West are being encouraged to be strong and confident, boys are being raised in the same way and with the same cultural expectations as their fathers. As a result, young couples face a tug of war, when the old-fashioned, young Muslim boy won’t lift a finger around the house (since he never saw his dad do this) and his young Muslim wife expects him to pitch in, as the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) did with his wives.

As well, a number of young Muslim men expect their wives not to argue with them since they never saw their mother cross their father. This is once again cultural. But what is clear is that boys and girls are being raised very differently. Parents have to be more careful to give proper training to both children. As well, parents need to intervene in cases of dispute of this nature and be fair, not favor their own child.

Baby Steps to Better Living (Part 1)

I’ve been giving life some thought lately. I was thinking that the world is so much different in both good and bad ways. Obviously we want to make the world a better place. Where better to start then our own lives? No one ever seems to believe they can make a difference on an individual level to do anything too big, not for the world and not for themselves. But people are very much capable of making little changes in their lives that add up to make huge impacts. Here I wrote out a few things I have either started to do or plan on doing soon to make my life better, on a personal and global scale:

1.       Eat breakfast everyday...proven weight loss strategy and does wonders for your energy level throughout the day

2.       Stay busy. You know the saying: An idle mind is a devil’s workshop...yea I believe it

3.       Take short showers.  5 minutes in the shower can use up to 15 gallons of water.  So 20 minutes will use up enough water to hydrate an entire family for a few months

4.       Wear sweaters instead of turning the heat to max

5.       Walk to and from work, or at least walk around your work or school space. Those extra steps can boost metabolism

6.       Opt for a fruit rather than a bag of chips for a snack; you will remain full longer and stay healthier

7.       Reuse your clothes before washing them. Nothing needs to be washed after one use, not towels or jeans or tops. Underwear...yes

8.       Try to air dry clothes, clothes dryer uses a lot of electricity

9.       Replace fried foods with grilled or baked foods

10.   Smile when you catch someone looking at you, it will put a smile on their face (Smiling, even without reason, releases endorphins: feel good hormones)

11.   Avoid walking down the chips and pop aisle in the grocery store

12.   Hold the door open for the person behind you

13.   Stretch

14.   Turn off the lights in a room you are not using, and turn down the heat

15.   Recycle (Start with the obvious and develop the habit, soon it will be natural). Most packaging, paper and plastic can be recycled. It hurts me to throw things in the garbage that I know can be recycled

16.   Play in the snow with your friends and family

17.   Plan ahead: schedules, clothes, garbage day, appointments, everything (no need to micromanage though)

18.   Call and chat with your parents

19.   Don’t eat after 8pm

20.   Be proud of yourself for bringing all these positive changes to your life J